We all cross paths with vulnerability, more often than not, whether we accept it or not. These moments often present us with a choice: do we risk our self-esteem at this moment or protect it?
Moments when we have to choose between:
“Should I send this text message hoping for a reply or do I let it go?”
“Should I continue to pursue a friend even though I feel the connection has changed?”
“Should I attend a gathering where I feel discomfort or I should still go as I have nothing better to do?”
Let’s quickly dive into understanding where this vulnerability stems from:
Could it be a desire for validation? That if this person responds or reciprocates in the same manner, it will make us feel valued?
Or could it be that we fear being rejected and in order to avoid facing the discomfort of ending it, we keep pursuing the connection?
Or because sometimes we idealize someone so much, we are comfortable with not prioritizing ourselves over them?
Even if we all are really well aware of the rationale, do we still not choose to put our self esteem at stake and attempt to do something that gives us instant relief at that moment but makes us incredibly miserable after the act?
Yes, we still go ahead and DO IT and comfort ourselves by saying ‘But I am only human!’
Anything wrong with it? Absolutely not. After all, it is true.
We all are really human and making mistakes is a part of design!
But even if it makes us feel weak, we still keep tricking our mind into buying this narrative. But have we ever wondered for how long do we intend on making the same mistakes over and over again?
Speaking from my personal experience, I have always seen myself as confident and possessing high self-esteem. However, there have been countless times when I’ve struggled with self-control and given in to impulses. Just like anyone else, only to then slap my head hard once I wake up from my interim sleep of vulnerability.
After performing various experiments with my subconscious mind as you must have read in my story, I thought it’s time to tighten screws on this thing called ‘self-control’. I explored many videos from great self-help authors, read many books and blogs but there was one particular affirmation that resonated with me and I finally felt comfortable using it. And that is:
“Everything I need in this moment, is already inside of me”
The moment I discovered it for myself and said it out loud, I felt an immediate sense of relief and inner strength. I told myself, I do not know whether it will work or not, but I know one thing for sure that as a law, anything that you impress your subconscious mind with, repeatedly for days, starts to become a part of you and ultimately, your reality.
For those 21 days, as I tried to form this new habit, every time I faced a moment of impulse—whether to make contact or send a message—I would quickly remind myself, “Everything I need in this moment, is already inside of me” and it used to douse the fire to act on my impulse and urge to act vulnerably. And just like that, it helped improve my concept of self control, thus improving my concept of self esteem as well.
I won’t pretend that vulnerability disappeared instantly, but I can say that I feel much more in control now, especially in situations where vulnerability comes easily. I still have a long way to go, but I’m glad I’ve taken a step in the right direction.
I would recommend everyone to use it if they see themselves standing in my shoes at times. And in case, you have more such affirmations, please feel free to drop them in the comments 🙂
